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What would Jesus do about one Muslim’s cruelty?

Posted in Irshaddering Thoughts on Dec 23, 2007

Last Friday night I appeared on CNN’s special program, “What Would Jesus Really Do?” Little did I realize that I’d have occasion to ask that same question today.

In New York City this morning, I hailed a cab driven by a Sudanese Muslim man. He was about to end his shift. As the rain began to pour, the cabbie opened his door to me — despite my destination being inconvenient for him. And although he wanted to stop for a coffee, he agreed not to because I was already late for my appointment. A lovely guy offering stellar customer service, I’d say.

But as the cabbie proudly declared to me early in the ride, he supported a full-fledged flogging of Gillian Gibbons, the British teacher who allowed her pupils to name a teddy bear “Mohammad.” Without identifying myself as a Muslim, I began to pose questions.

“Isn’t God merciful and compassionate?” I asked.

“Only for those who deserve it,” he replied.

“What makes her undeserving?”

“She insulted the Prophet.”

“How?”

“By naming an animal after him. You wouldn’t name a dog after him, right?”

“But this wasn’t a dog, sir. It was a toy.”

“No, no, it is still a beast.”

“Anyway, sir, her intentions were pure. I have many close Muslim friends and I know that Muslims put a lot of weight on intentions. She didn’t meant to offend. She simply counted the votes of her students. Most of them wanted to name the teddy bear ‘Mohammad.’”

“I have many friends too. My close friend is a lawyer who argued in the courtroom about this case. He knows the story better than you. He told me that she made the decision to call the teddy bear ‘Mohammad.’”

Now, reader, how would Christ treat this claim? Muslims should care because Jesus is a top-tier prophet in Islam. His teachings matter as much as those of Moses and Mohammad. What, then, would Jesus do?

Would he express doubt that a government-appointed prosecutor is phoning his cabbie pal in New York and divulging details of a highly sensitive trial?

Would he ask the cabbie further questions such as, “What do you expect a prosecutor to say? After all, his job is to stretch the story as far as possible precisely to prosecute.”

Would he accept the cabbie’s words at face value and continue arguing that even if Ms. Gibbons named the teddy bear “Mohammad,” it’s an inanimate object for God’s sake?

Would he tolerate the cabbie’s cruelty under the assumption that in a multicultural society, Jews (as Jesus was) have no right to “interfere” in “other people’s business”? Would he view the lashing of an educator as “other people’s business”?

Finally, would Jesus bother to engage at all given how the cabbie starts the conversation: by announcing that he’s from Sudan and then denying that there’s a genocide in Darfur? His words: “Western media are making up the pictures.” Oy.

Why dignify irrationality by responding to it?

But if you don’t respond, then you’re letting yet another conspiracy theorist believe that he’s got the scoop, everyone else is duped, and any argument to the contrary is more evidence of Islamophobia.

For the love of Mary, what would Jesus do?

For that matter, what would you do?