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To be understood, first seek to understand

Posted in Irshaddering Thoughts on Jul 30, 2008

This is a memo to my fellow Muslims. There’s something about Americans that you need to know: They love to be liked.

Maybe that’s why, for all my travels throughout the world, nowhere do I experience a deeper desire to understand others than I do in America. Especially in the “heartland.”

Recently, I received two emails that capture this point. The first comes from Frank:

“I am a 40-something white male living in the Midwest. I just watched your interview about the Pakistani-American father in Georgia who allegedly killed his daughter out of ‘honor.’

I was impressed by your very clear and concise explanation of the reason this man feels he is not guilty. Perhaps more important was your explanation of how his thinking in this matter is culturally based and not religious in nature. Adding even more to your credibility is that you stated in this country, this is murder even if it is not considered so in other countries.

In only a few minutes, your information gave me a clearer understanding of Islam than I have ever had and actually left me wanting to understand more.

As in so many instances, fear of something is often a result of lacking knowledge. I think in the United States that could not be more true as it relates to Islam or for that matter some other religions too.

I thank you for presenting a clearer picture for me and all those watching.”

Now to an email from Fred:

“I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with ijtihad.

Every 10th grader should know the ‘Cradle of Civilization’ is at the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers, the Fertile Crescent. Every 10th grader should know that if it wasn’t for the libraries in Moorish Spain, the knowledge of the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, and the other Ancients would have been lost forever at the hands of the Roman Church.

Muslims seem to be in their own Dark Ages. No thought, no opinion, just submission. That’s what it was like in Medieval Europe. Zillions of serfs were ordered to keep tilling the land, pay your taxes, and do what you’re told. The big pay-off was in the ‘next’ life, where ‘the first shall be last and the last shall be first.’ Today that’s called The Mushroom Theory, you know, keep ‘em in the dark and feed ‘em bullshit.

Good luck with ijtihad, you’ll be saving zillions over the next thousand years from an impotent, dreary, lifeless existence. Thanks for your efforts, from a member of the Planet.”

It makes my heart soar when non-Muslim Americans learn about ijtihad and cite its transformative potential. Or when they say that young Americans should be taught how Islamic civilization saved Western civilization a millennium ago.

What makes my heart sag is that I never hear traditional Muslims express an interest in understanding American customs. Too many simply reduce Americana to materialism, consumerism, or decadence.

That’s revealed in a new book, Who Speaks for Islam? What a Billion Muslims Really Think. (A billion Muslims?! With a sample like that, you can see that I’m not taking my conclusions exclusively from personal experience.)

I debated the book’s Muslim co-author recently, and was struck (but not surprised) by one of her more cavalier assumptions: namely, when mainstream Americans fail to fathom traditional Muslims, it’s Americans who must change. Full stop. But when Muslims misunderstand Americans, it’s not Muslims who must change. It’s not Muslims who must take responsibility to educate themselves about the complexity and nuance of American life. Nope. It’s Americans who must do all the heavy lifting to improve perceptions about themselves.

That’s what you call a double-standard.

Let’s be honest, people: Reconciliation between “Islam” and “the West” can’t happen without reciprocity. Understanding, by definition, has to be mutual.

Even the Quran promotes Muslim introspection, wisely reminding us that “God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” That’s Chapter 13, Verse 11. When applied to both America and the Islamic world, it just might be a 13:11 solution to a 9/11 problem.

I can already anticipate the objections to my argument. One of them will be that America wields a hell of a lot more power than the Muslim world, and therefore deserves to be held to a higher standard.

Normally, I’d fight this counter-argument by exposing the racist premise that Muslims aren’t capable of acting as civilized as Americans.

But this time, I’m humoring the counter-argument. More than humoring it, I’m reflecting on it. Because I seek to understand.

And new heights of understanding are helping me appreciate that, far from hating America, those who treat the US as The Problem subconsciously love America.

I’ll explain in my next blog entry.