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Your letters - posted August 18, 2005

Posted in Q & A on Aug 18, 2005

Posted August 18, 2005

The good, the bad, the ugly and the unsure: a diversity of emails to wrap up our very weird summer.

THE GOOD:

“I am a Pakistani-American Muslim woman. I am also a wife, a mother and feminist, and I applaud you for the saying the things I was thinking but never had the guts to voice.  What I do have is a wonderful story that will hopefully bring a smile to your face.

After raising three children in the United States, my parents were disheartened by the fact that they had neglected to give us a proper education in our faith.  So they hired a teacher to come by the house every Sunday and teach my brother and sister the basics of Islam, including how to read the Koran in Arabic.  (Thankfully this happened after I got married and moved away, so I didn’t have to suffer for two hours every Sunday.)

Mr. Mustafa, their Islamic Studies teacher, preached all kinds of garbage, such as how to beat your wife with a newspaper if she doesn’t have dinner on the table when a man gets home from work.  He demonstrated this by rolling up the Sunday paper and whacking the dust out of my parents’ living room sofa.  Luckily my brother and sister, both in their early 20s, didn’t pay any attention to him and kept him around more for comic relief than education. My parents, who are both extremely liberal, kept him around because they felt sorry for the poor guy, who earned a meager living teaching Sunday classes.

After one of his lessons, he asked my brother to lead the prayer.  My brother couldn’t lead the prayer if his life depended on it because he didn’t know the sequence.  One of my female cousins was visiting us and volunteered to lead prayer.  She was the only one who knew how.  Mr. Mustafa would not hear of it and insisted that only a man could lead prayer.  When my sister asked why, Mr. Mustafa went on to explain that if a woman leads prayer, then all the men would look at her ass.  Therefore, a man must lead prayer.

When my sister said that if a man leads prayer, then women might look at his ass, Mr. M was astounded and replied that women don’t do such things.  He also stated, “Man number one and woman number two.” When my dad (a wonderful dad and a true feminist) heard all this, he insisted that my cousin lead prayer and that in his house, it was “Woman number one and man number two.” In the end, my cousin did lead prayer and did a wonderful job with Mr. M, my brother, my sister and my father all following her lead. I couldn’t be more proud of my family!” - Proud Muslim, Baltimore

Irshad replies: The next time you see Mr. Mustafa, bounce this off him: The Prophet Muhammad’s beloved first wife, Khadija, was a wealthy, self-made merchant for whom the Prophet worked over many years.  She was his boss. If Mr. M is serious about emulating the Prophet’s life, he won’t simply grow a beard.  He’ll also work for his wife. In one way or another, we’re all lousy Muslims, aren’t we?

Of course, it’s one thing to be a second-rate Muslim and quite another to be an apostle of Satan. Guess which category I fall under, according to the next writer…

THE (REALLY, REALLY) BAD:

“Your latest manifesto, in all its contentious glory, has earned you a place on the world stage. This, of course, makes you the target of criticism from an endless parade of adversaries - myself among them.

I find it interesting that your book features a distinct dust jacket for each country in which it is available… The Canadian cover is as bold and brash as you are. Your name spans the top like a masthead - a harsh Germanic colour scheme. Your photograph is instantly familiar, despite the cold blue tones and obscured mouth (subtle, by the way). It is the face familiar to many Canadians, the face so often seen on television engaged in angry debate. Behold, Irshad Manji, Canada’s ubiquitous emissary of religious controversy. The cover leverages your reputation quite adeptly and makes total sense for this national market.

Which brings us to the American pressing of your work. As a relative unknown in the United Mistakes of America, I imagine your presentation to our southern neighbours was carefully calculated to ensure the maximum degree of reader appeal (read: sales). The U.S. jacket features a different portrait of Irshad - a decidedly gentler and more appealing one in fact. Whereas the Canadian issue has you looking straight ahead, sharp and alert, this one has you sans trademark glasses, gazing doe-eyed towards the heavens. Your earnest, somewhat saddened countenance is disarming in its soft attractiveness and in no way communicates the vitriol of your views.

You are a successful woman and an outspoken feminist yet you pander to the prejudices of the ignorant by altering your usual appearance — from dyke to diva as it were. I have no doubt that this new-and-improved Irshad will help move product. This calculated and shrewd  marketing tactic demonstrates the complexity, and duplicity, of your ideals.

You are a muslim yet you are a lesbian. You are a self-proclaimed independent thinker yet you rely on the words and ideas of others to bolster and validate your position. You have studied Islam for no other purpose than to expose its flaws. It is clear that your agenda is by no means simplistic. Rather, I see a volatile combination of emotion, intellect and material appetite that has made you an exceedingly unbearable personality. Increasingly, it seems as though your dialogues have become less about Islam and more about Irshad. It seems as though you are finally getting the attention you so clearly crave.

What has yet to be mentioned in all your rhetoric is that Islam is the invention of one man. Much like Mormonism or Christian Science. Of the Big Three, Islam is the relative new kid on the block and unlike its sister faiths, it was not born out of the experiences of many. It  originated 800 years after Christianity and thousands of years after Judaism and was “marketed” to those overlooked by the previous  two. The fact that billions of people adhere to this false-faith does not give it any divine credence whatsoever. Islam is a haven for the disenfranchised and therefore a fertile field for the seeds of propaganda and persuasion.

Likewise, your own personal morality and sense of justice have no bearing on the absolute truth of all things. Your aptitude for argument and rebellion  allows you to live your life according to Irshad and none other. The intellectual and spiritual wall that surrounds you protects you from everything that would otherwise compromise your carefully constructed narrow and selfish world-view. As a second-rate scholar, you are completely unreceptive to anything beyond the academic. As a second-rate muslim, you are unreceptive to anything truly spiritual.

There is only one thing I detest about you Irshad, but this one thing is your entire raison d’etre. I detest your pride - your smugness and your self-righteousness. You seem utterly convinced that your views are superior and correct. You have chosen your side and taken your stance seemingly without consideration of error. I agree with many of your points on Islam and much more beyond that. As I have indicated, I believe Islam is at best a false-faith and at worst an evil system of satanic proportions. The difference between us is that I have not made my personal opinion into my identity, nor have I uttered it as a global battle cry as you have done.

You have justified your homosexuality, your dissent and your contempt for organized religion publicly and have challenged us with your opinions and defied us to defy you. Since you have not been quiet, neither shall I. I suspect you will  carry on with this tiresome posturing long after I have lost interest. Carry on then, with your lies and perversions as you kneel in praise of your own glorious self.

One last thought. Quite contrary to Islam, Judaism and Christianity, there is only one “commandment” in the practice of satanic worship - Do what thy will. With this in mind, I would say that you are a model disciple since there is no god above Irshad.  Seems to be the motto of so many these days. There are some who believe that when mankind elevates the creation (himself) above the Creator (God), all hell breaks loose. And so we wait.” - Anna

Irshad replies: Wow. You’re an Irshad-hater AND an Islam-hater. I can’t wait to see what my Muslim critics do with that combo!

As for the Canadian cover of my book — honey, get with the paperback edition.  Despite my self-obsession, you won’t see my face on it. Here’s what the new (and possibly improved) cover looks like.

THE UGLY?

Maybe this should have been on the cover of the paperback. A very supportive reader painted a portrait of me and sent it my way.  I love it.  Let’s just say my friends don’t. But because I’m a) narcissistic enough to post it without shame or b) secure enough to be caricatured without offence or c) both of the above, I’d like to share the portrait with you.  Let me know your thoughts.

THE UNSURE…

“As a concerned Malaysian Muslim, I would like to say, ‘Please keep on dissenting!’ I pray they open up ijtihad again.  Surely, I do not agree with your liberal-ness in same-sex perversions. Men and women were created to complement each other, and not to compete. The West’s blatant feminism has moulded you.  I really pity men of the West that are left high and dry, literally.  In the West, really buried deep inside the minds of women are the needs of male sexual gratifications and companions.  But because of their bloated feminist egos… Good luck in your dangerous dissention.” - Shariff, Kuala Lumpur

Irshad replies: Huh?