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Your letters - posted January 22, 2007

Posted in Q & A on Jan 22, 2007

Posted January 22, 2007

Friends and foes: Valentine’s Day is coming up and I’ll be devoting the next several updates to encouraging the celebration of love - particularly between Muslims and infidels.

Welcome to the first installment: emails from Muslims who’ve hooked up with non-Muslims.  Many are desperate to know if Islam allows inter-faith relationships. I’ve received so many e’s asking this q that I’ve had a progressive imam, Prof. Khaleel Mohammad, write a defense of inter-faith marriage — from an Islamic perspective. You can download his argument in English ou en Francais.  (Oui, nous sommes très bilingue.) 

If you’re a Muslim who wants to convince your parents that God loves love, present this document to them. Don’t tell them you got it off my site!  All they need to know is that it comes from a Muslim cleric. His name and credentials are in the doc. Now for some moon-struck Muslims…
“I am Indonesian muslim marrying jewish guy.  now have been living in USA for almost 5 yrs.  To my knowledge it is not allowable for muslim woman to marry different religion and also I do not think it is acceptable in muslim community.  what is your knowledge about the above matter?” - jazmine

Irshad replies: Frankly, Jaz, it doesn’t matter what I think.  It’s what your heart tells you that counts.  But if you’re serious about wanting knowledge, read Imam Khaleel Mohammad’s defense of interfaith marriage. He’s got the intellectual chops to bless you big-time.

“I am a progressive liberal Muslim American of Pakistani descent… Of particular interest to me are like-minded imams who will perform Islamic marriage ceremonies for Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men.  I know two of my sisters struggled to find such an imam when it came time to marry their ‘converted’ husbands.  I intend to marry a non-Muslim, non-’convert’ and would like my mother to have some type of ceremony that she can invite her fellow Muslim friends to, but that would not be intolerable to me. Do you have any leads on where this type of clergy might be found?” - Tayiba

Irshad replies: As it turns out, Imam Khaleel officiates inter-faith weddings whenever possible. Click here for his contact info. And don’t forget to send me a wedding photo!

“I am from a Muslim family but I am agnostic and in a relationship with a Muslim woman.  According to her, she is committing a sin being with me and cannot marry me. We are madly in love and want to spend the rest of our lives together.  But she is going to break up with me because she is afraid of making Allah unhappy. I am sure that I am not going to convert to Islam. I can understand her perspective.  What can we do to make this relationship work?  We cannot live without each other and we are both heart-broken.  Please help us.” - Ehsan

Irshad replies: Ok, first things first. You’ve got to give her Imam Khaleel’s document. Or read it to her.  Then she’ll know she’s not making Allah unhappy by marrying you.  Even though Imam K is talking about people of different faiths, the principles he enunciates apply to those who are agnostic as well. After all, to be agnostic doesn’t mean you don’t believe in God; it means you can’t prove (or disprove) that God exists. In that sense, we’re all agnostics. Which means we marry them, too.

“My girlfriend is a VERY faithful Christian.  The closer to her I grow, the more I realize that my parents would ultimately like to see me with a Muslim girl, not because they are any more intelligent, kind, warm… but merely because they possess the same religious credentials. I want to thank you for expressing so eloquently what very many young Muslims have been afraid to do. I also think it’s brilliant how you use direct quotes from the Qur’an, making your points all the more emphatic.  I sense a feeling of relief to know that it is not wrong to think with a liberal mind about Islam.” - Mohammad

Irshad replies: It is NEVER wrong to think, Moe. That’s the difference between faith and dogma.  Faith is secure enough to handle questions.  Faith doesn’t need to threatened by thought.  Dogma, on the other hand, does.

NEXT INSTALLMENT: Letters from non-Muslims who are head-over-heels in love with Muslims. But there’s trouble in paradise.  Why? Stay tuned…