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A question of love (actually, many questions)

Posted in Irshaddering Thoughts on Jun 03, 2008

In my previous post, I told you about Mark, a Christian, who fell in love with “Hala,” a Muslim. She left him when he refused to leave his own religion for Islam.

But does someone always have to get hurt in a relationship between Muslims and non-Muslims? No.  I’ve explained why, with the help of a scholar named Imam Khaleel Mohammed.

You’ve responded in one of two ways: deep cynicism or profound hope.

The cynics tend be blunt.  Take James: “I often find these interfaith relationships really annoying, and usually its the non-muslim that ends up being the door mat or holding the bag.  If Mark wanted to marry a muslim he should have already have been one before meeting her.”

What does Mark say? Like others of you, he’s optimistic about the future of inter-faith marriage — despite nursing a broken heart: “As a young man, my father went through an experience similar to mine with a Catholic woman.  Now, Catholic-Protestant marriages hardly merit a second glance. 

My sister and Jewish brother-in-law’s marriage would have been highly frowned upon, if not forbidden, 50 years ago.  I have no doubt that within my generation, marriages between Muslim women and non-Muslim men will gain acceptance.  And it will be thanks to the efforts of farsighted people like you and Imam Khaleel.”

While I embrace and encourage Mark’s positive energy,  I owe him a reality check: Interfaith marriage is still discouraged — sometimes intensely — in many Jewish communities.  You see this even in America.

That’s because Jews worry about their dwindling numbers.  With only 14 million Jews worldwide, their entire population is smaller than most Muslim minority sects. If Jewish men are marrying non-Jewish women, goes the argument, then what does it mean to preserve and protect the Jewish people?

In the spirit of the Talmud, let me raise more questions:

Is a “people” the same thing as a “tribe”?

Is cultural, national or religious survival about pro-creating or is it about being creative in other ways — or both? 

If it’s rational to stick with your own, can rationality sometimes amount to bigotry?

Love. It stinks. Especially when it forces you to think.