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Your letters - posted May 1, 2007
Posted in Q & A on May 01, 2007
Posted May 1, 2007
Salaam all: I’m still digging out from the avalanche of emails you sent after the premiere of my film, Faith Without Fear. Here are a few your reactions, with many more to come…
“I am a Tunisian but had the chance to be in the States for a few weeks. And what a chance I had just to see your documentary this evening. I was about to go to bed just to wake up early for an exam tomorrow. I found myself stuck to your picture on the TV and could not resist getting out from bed to drop you these lines.
I never felt relieved as I am right now. I thought I was the only person in the world that wants to change the way Islam is being instructed and followed nowadays. In Tunis we have moderate Islam, but the extremism is gaining space and that is what worries me the most. I just wish to have you travel all around the Arabic Muslim countries and debate their way of adopting Islam. I cannot imagine how someone living in the 21st century adopts the 7th century standards.
There should be someone to bring the bright and warm side of Islam to the world. I support all your journeys and paths to reach your and our goal. With your help and the presence of other women, we can contribute to the rescue of our nations to live a good life, not keep waiting for the next life. Thanks for what you are to all of us.” - Nebil
“I am very concerned about the views you project about hijab in your documentary. As a woman who insisted on being an engineer and also insisted on wearing hijab, I have difficulties with women who fight for ‘women’s rights.’ I feel that no one actually fights for a woman’s right to wear hijab.
I have an undergraduate degree in Electrical Engineering and am pursuing my Masters in Software Engineering as well as working full time as a System Analyst in a Fortune 500 company, all while wearing my hijab. It has not confined me at all. Your film gives the impression that women who wear hijab are weak and oppressed. There is nothing weak about wearing hijab when all odds are against us. I would suggest you speak about women’s rights being violated by secular governments in Turkey and Tunis and France, where women are denied their education simply because they choose to wear hijab.
I am honestly offended by your program and felt the urge to write you something and extend dialogue. You do agree that being rigid doesn’t help anyone, and I recommend taking your own advice and looking at these topics from different angles.” - Efdal
Irshad replies: In your defensiveness, Efdal, you’ve missed a crucial distinction. It’s not that I oppose the right of Muslim women to choose hijab - choice, born of free will, is a beautiful thing. What I oppose is lack of choice, which is clear when hijab is imposed on women. And that’s the case in places like Yemen, which I documented in “Faith Without Fear.” One of the characters, Arwa, chooses not to cover like all the other women. Yet every day she faces harassment, even physical threat, for making that choice.
It’s because I’m pro-choice that I’ve spoken up for the right of Muslim women in Turkey to wear hijab if they wish to. As for France, Muslim women can still wear hijab in universities and private academies. The only places of education in which they can’t is state-funded high schools. When Muslim women in France were polled about this policy, a majority of them said they supported it as a way of helping their daughters make informed choices later in life. Once again, what mattered to these Muslim women was that the hijab be an informed option, not a blind obligation.
So here’s the question I’ll leave you with: With all of your privilege as a Fortune 500 employee, why aren’t you using your voice to condemn violence against Muslim women in Yemen who make personal decisions about hijab - the very violence you won’t face in America for making your own decisions about it?
“I was raised in America in a Christian family but took my Shahada [recitation of belief in one God and the Prophet Mohammad as his final messenger] in 1992. I found the beauty and truth of Islam first in my readings of the Quran and some Hadith, and gratefully remained fairly ignorant of the goings-on of the Muslim community for the first few months.
As I became more entrenched in local Islamic community activities, I struggled to keep my balance and not allow the extreme viewpoints of some to overwhelm me. From 1992 until 2000, I did my best to observe the rituals of daily life. I wore a hijab (never wanted to get near the niqab) out in public and at work, and did my best to keep 5 daily prayers. I look back now and know that my 8-year experiment allowed me to see where my faith is and is not.
I identified with your documentary in so many ways, especially your discussion with your mother about inner prayers as opposed to the ritual prayers. I have had the same discussion numerous times with my daughter. She has learned the ‘rules’ from her father, and she insists on asking me all the time why I don’t ‘pray.’ I tell her the same thing you told your mother. And I feel confident in my views because after 8 years of reciting words in a foreign language and bowing and prostrating in ritual sequence, I can tell you my only closeness to God came from my knowing that I was trying to do what was right. When I gave myself permission to do what I felt was right without the imposition of somebody else’s rituals, I finally found a true, unshakable relationship with my creator.
I am inspired by your ability to debate with the very persuasive fundamentalist leaders around the world. You speak powerfully and uninhibited. It makes my heart burst with excitement, and happy to find a leader emerging who has the ability to cut through the ‘crap.’ I can see your message as a brilliant divine light shining into the dark corners of the Islamic nations.
May Allah help us to help those that have lost their way in the darkness. I only hope that I have the courage to take action when I recognize the opportunity. The time has come for peace in our generation and our children’s, and I thank you for your contribution from the bottom of my heart.” - R.L. Zayed
Irshad replies: As my own mother told me, “You go, girl!”
“One thing disgusted me in your documentary, and it was the treatment that you and your mother received when she visited her local mosque to talk about her faith. The danger you face to engage in Islamic debate is mind boggling, and your contributions should be appreciated.
But I am sometimes led to believe that your engagement in the debate seems an angry reaction to the ignorance and hypocrisy of the religious establishment (which I sometimes fall into), rather than a sober-headed attempt to reform Islam through Ijtihad.
Although I consider your views in the larger Islamic debate nowadays to be at the other extreme end of the spectrum, I find it valuable nonetheless. You stir more debate.” - Ahmad Saeed
Irshad replies: Uhhh, Ahmad, what’s wrong with reacting angrily to the ignorance and hypocrisy of the religion establishment? Shouldn’t more Muslims be angry about the narrow-mindedness of the guys who run our mosques and run down the dignity of women worshippers? I’m not saying we should attack these guys with baseball bats; just confront them with our consciences. Sorry if that’s not sober-headed enough for you. Sobriety is no antidote to those who are drunk on their own power.
“I am a child and family counsellor. What I have learned in my years of knowing people of many religions is that the inherent power of women, which is so pivotal to the viability of any community, can threaten and intimidate some men. I feel the issue has less to do with religious beliefs and more to do with power struggles within a community suffering from low self-image.
In certain cultures which have been colonized, or have not been allowed to attain intellectual independence by forces from within, there is a need to control and suppress the sexual and intellectual power of their women to avoid further humiliation. Thanks to the generations of self loathing, these men, in despising and abusing their women, also despise themselves because they ultimately owe their existence to a woman.
I am a mother of grown children about your age and like your mom, I ask you to be very careful for your safety. We need you to continue questioning and challenging.” - Anne
Your letters - posted April 10, 2007
Posted in Q & A on Apr 10, 2007
Posted April 10 2007
Faith without Fear follows my journey around the world to reconcile Islam and freedom.
—
Premieres in the US on PBS, Thursday, April 19,
9PM Eastern. (Double-check your local listings.)
Airs in Canada on Global, Saturday, April 21,
8PM Eastern. (Double-check your local listings.)
—
Learn more about Faith Without Fear.
View a clip of Faith Without Fear.
Trivia: Here’s the “Irshad Manji - Devil in Disguise” pamphlet handed out by a protester in the film. irshad-manji-devil-in-disguise.jpg
—
Sample of film reviews & media coverage
60 Minutes’ Lesley Stahl screens film with Irshad at NYU:
Podcast | Article
“Wonderful documentary”: Voices Unabridged - E-zine about Women and Human Rights Worldwide
“I am biased against her”: Muslim-Canadian blogger
Leonard Lopate radio show - New York
Irshad debating in Detroit (aka the lion’s den) - YouTube
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Irshad and her mom share a laugh at the Detroit public preview of Faith Without Fear. Editors: Click here to acquire photos from Getty Images.
Paul Harris radio show - St. Louis
Leslie Roberts radio show, CFRB, Toronto
CBC TV: The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos
CBC Radio - Sounds Like Canada
Irshad’s mother doing the Sounds Like Canada interview for CBC Radio
National Public Radio - Washington state
Robert Fulford’s column, National Post, Canada
Washington Post Online (Irshad’s Q & A with public)
Radio Canada International’s The Link
Charles Adler Radio Show, Canada [part 1] [part 2]
Victoria Times-Colonist (Canada)
Faith Without Fear is part of the PBS series America at a Crossroads.
Irshad explains to CBS News how ijtihad (critical thinking) reformed a young terrorist – and what Project Ijtihad hopes to do with him now. Watch the video.
Your letters - posted March 29, 2007
Posted in Q & A on Mar 29, 2007
Posted March 29, 2007
Below is an interesting challenge from a Saudi woman who says that Islam can’t be reformed because it’s inherently problematic. But if a terrorist can be transformed by ijtihad, isn’t there hope for the majority of Muslims who aren’t violent? Read my exchange with the Saudi skeptic and decide for yourself.
“Irshad, let me start by saying I read your book more than once. I was born in Saudi Arabia, the heart of orthodox Islam. I know more than most about the religion. I had my independent readings as well and I read and educated myself about religion as a whole. I came a long way since then, as I acquired higher education in the West, took a medical degree, two postgraduate degrees and traveled a lot. I am now an American citizen.
Being a woman with two daughters did not help me much to sympathize with Islam. Of course I know about ijtihad, but I am not sure how far ijtihad can go to change the religion and make it different in a way that my mind can accept.
The Quran is full of many issues that cannot be modified or addressed in any other way. It states the inferiority of women and reflects the sixth century thinking in a non-biased way. It supports a culture that controls women and puts them down, way down. How can that be changed?
You will say that Islam was revolutionary in the seventh century, that it lifted women out of a worse situation. But I have discovered that Islam did not actually free women. In the fifth and sixth century, women had wide economic, social and sexual freedom. Women were acknowledged in poetry by name and they could marry several men simultaneously and choose who would be the father of the child. I am not talking about prostitutes. I am talking about women with tribal standing. Before Islam, women could trade, keep their money, and receive an inheritance that would be equal to, rather than half of what a man gets. Remember Khadija, the prophet’s first wife? Well, she was a woman born into what Islam calls “jahilliya” or “age of darkness.” But she made a fortune for herself during that time. I wonder which one was the age of darkness?
Muslims always say it was not the religion but the way it was used and abused. Guess what? If religion did not allow it by having tools within the system itself that could be used and abused, then people would not able to do so.
All in all, Irshad, you are trying to fix something that is unfixable. I tried for many years to fix it because I wanted so much to unify my many parts and rest my conflicts. I am a very stubborn person and I usually fight for a long time before letting go of anything I believe in, but with this one I truly failed. I respect you for trying to see the light. I hope we can both see it one day.” - May
Irshad replies: May, I can hear your frustration. Many a morning I wake up feeling it too. But I also feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude that you and I live in a part of the world where we can imagine real change, educate ourselves about how change has happened in history, and then go for it in our own time.
I’m enough of a historian to know that dissidents within Christianity were told (mostly by the Roman Catholic Church) that their religion is immovable. What if they had listened to the status quo apologists who urged them to give up? Would Wycliffe and Huss have ever set the stage for Luther to spark the Reformation - a reformation that, for all its bloody flaws and unfinished business, nonetheless created a “priesthood of believers” and thereby stripped the Catholic Church of its monopoly on truth?
Fast forward to the days of American slavery, when Christians far and wide uncritically read the Bible to support slavery. People of faith who interpreted the Bible as a call for the unconditional end to slavery were often mocked. Take William Lloyd Garrison, the late 19th-century abolitionist whose newspaper, the Liberator, never had a circulation of more than 3,000. His detractors labeled him a dreamer, a radical, an unholy antagonist. Yet Garrison held fast to his conscience, making the following statement:
“I am aware that many will object to the severity of my language; but is there not cause for severity? I will be as harsh as truth and as uncompromising as justice. On this subject, I do not wish to think or speak or write with moderation. No! No! Tell a man whose house is on fire to give a moderate alarm. Tell him to moderately rescue his wife… Tell the mother to gradually extricate her babe from the fire into which it has fallen. But do not urge me to use moderation in a cause like the present. I am in earnest – I will not equivocate – I will not excuse – I will not retreat a single inch. And I will be heard. The apathy of the people is enough to make every statue leap from its pedestal, and to hasten the resurrection of the dead.”
Hell, Martin Luther King Jr. took heat from Black clergy who accused him of creating “needless tension”, and Lillian Smith, an outspoken opponent of racial segregation, had to be smuggled onto university campuses because her fellow white liberals found her too extreme in the cause of human rights.
Yet in each case, the champions of change prevailed.
May, believe me when I say that I’m not acting from innocent faith alone. I’m also acting from a knowledge of how social change frequently happens. In the middle of change, we sometimes don’t notice what’s actually shifting. It feels as though the status quo is calcifying and that we’re headed for failure. Only after the change comes into focus do we absorb the fact that a process unfolded to get us there.
It’s possible that this is what’s taking place in Islam today. Reform-minded Muslims don’t yet have a movement, but we do have momentum. That’s evident in the evolution of the emails that I’ve received over the past three years. In addition to reading my book, may I humbly recommend that you review the letters archive on this website?
Momentum also shines through in the fact that reform-minded Muslims are now getting together openly, which shows other reform-minded Muslims that they’re not alone. One such group is the Democratic Muslims of Denmark, which recently organized ground-breaking gatherings about secularism and freedom of expression. The Project Ijtihad website, now under construction, will post video clips from these conferences.
Finally, we’re headed in the right direction when angry young terrorists such as Hassan Butt can be transformed and ultimately reformed by the concept of ijtihad. Watch the story of Hassan’s violent past. Then listen to my interview with 60 Minutes about what Project Ijtihad plans to do with Hassan as a way of introducing Muslims everywhere to a brighter future.
Until more experimenting is done with the delicious and deliberate ambiguities in the Quran, it’s premature to conclude that Muslims are beyond reform. I’ll continue pushing the rock up that hill because, as Martin Luther King Jr. said, “I must confess I am not afraid of the word tension. I have earnestly opposed violent tension but there is a type of constructive non-violent tension that is necessary for growth.” Without agitation, there is no tension – and no growth. If causing tension is the miniscule contribution I make to restoring reason and humanity to Islam, may God be pleased with me.
Your letters - posted March 21, 2007
Posted in Q & A on Mar 21, 2007
With students at University of California, Santa Barbara
Posted March 21, 2007
People: Before we get to this week’s Q & A, notice that I’ve re-organized some content on the site so that it’s more user friendly. The new section called “Got a Question?” offers instant support to students, queer Muslims, and Muslim/non-Muslim couples. I’ll keep adding to this section as your emails identify your needs and priorities. Enjoy the new resources. Now back to our regularly scheduled dialogue…
The challenges I love most are those that come from fans of my book. Yes, even fans dissent with me! Being clever (which I adore), they take my words and turn them against my arguments. So it is with the young woman whose letter you’re about to read…
“I am 20 years old, living in Morocco. I have read your book in French, Musulmane Mais Libre [Muslim But Free] and it was a chef d’oeuvre [masterpiece]. I cheer. You tell us that we do not have to believe in something without reflecting on it first and without exercising critical thinking. That is what I did when I read your book.
So I would like to say something without making you upset, please. What you say about the USA, I think you exaggerate. If I have understood what you mean, you were saying that Bush’s United States has not done a lot of mistakes. I am especially referring to your statement “il est possible que les americains aient besoin de notre aide pour exprimer leur glorieu potentiel d’humanistes.” [”It may be that Americans need our help to express their glorious humanitarian potential.”]
The USA is not humanitarian at all. The government has not done anything to stop the downsizing of the corporations. I mean, when I hear Nike, for example, exploiting children and earning a lot of money, I think that if the States were reaallllllyyyy humanitarian as you say, they would do something to stop that!!! Moreover, is it humanitarian to turn down Kyoto because some people do not want to save our shared planet?
I am open to your criticisms of what I am saying, and I know you will not hesitate. What I am trying to do here is learn more and more so we have an Islam where everyone can live without problems.” - Zineb
Irshad replies: Merci bien for your passionate message, Zineb. I’m thrilled that you don’t accept everything I wrote; it shows that you have a mind of your own and I respect that about you.
You’re right that I won’t hesitate to challenge much of what you’ve said. For starters, I do criticize America, especially in Chapter 5 of my book. Nowhere do I imply that the U.S. is perfect. That’s why I talk about its humanitarian “potential.” You focus on the word “humanitarian,” but equally important is the word “potential” - by which I mean a capacity that has not yet been realized.
At the same time, humanitarianism does exist in the USA. An American can denounce her country — and her president — with the most vicious, hateful statements and she won’t be thrown in jail or have her tongue chopped off for doing so. In my book, I give the example of Jello Biafra, lead singer of the 1980s punk band The Dead Kennedys. After 9/11, he toured North America and mocked President George W. Bush. He was never “cautioned” by the FBI, CIA or anybody else to stop.
Similarly, the American press is constantly pointing out the faults of American corporations and governmental institutions — from the refusal of the White House to participate in the International Criminal Court, to its dissing of the Kyoto Protocol, to sweatshops operated by Nike and many other (non-American) multi-nationals. In highlighting this fact, I’m actually emphasizing two things: first, for all the hypocrisy of America, freedom of expression still lives; and second, that thanks to freedom of expression, everybody knows America is far from perfect.
But maybe the most important point is that ordinary Muslims in America are treated far better than average Muslims in Islamic countries. In fact, in the last 100 years alone, more Muslims have been tortured and murdered at the hands of other Muslims than at the hands of any foreign imperial power. I document this fact in my book.
My bottom line is this: instead of trying to identify the “perfect” society, let’s accept that none of us is perfect and then engage in self-criticism to begin cleaning our own houses — be they White Houses or mosques. Thousands of American journalists, and millions of American citizens, are exercising self-criticism every day, which is why the US is so deeply polarized right now. Can we truly say that millions of people in the Middle East are openly engaging in self-criticism? Of course not. And that’s an act of betrayal to ourselves as well as to Allah, because as the Quran tells us: “God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves” (13:11).
Americans are well on their way to doing this. When will non-Americans, especially those in the Muslim world, do the same? With you as a leader of young Moroccans, Zineb, I’m optimistic about the future.
Your letters - posted March 12, 2007
Posted in Q & A on Mar 12, 2007
Irshad and Muntasir, fellow Muslim, at Secular Islam Summit
Irshad defending faith at Secular Islam Summit
Posted March 12, 2007
Friends and foes: I recently spoke at the Secular Islam Summit, as many of you know. To watch my speech, click here. Many of you didn’t realize I’d be delivering a pro-faith, pro-Islam message. You blasted me for attending, on the assumption that secularism means atheism or that people who are hostile to Islam should not be engaged with.
I respectfully challenge both assumptions. On the popular Muslim blog eteraz.org, I explain why I went. Click here to read my explanation and participate in the debate.
So why have I not endorsed the St. Petersburg Declaration, the manifesto that came out of this summit? Below is my statement on behalf of Project Ijtihad, the network of reform-minded Muslims that I represented at the summit. This statement is also signed by Raquel Evita Saraswati, vice-president of Project Ijtihad…
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Project Ijtihad Statement Regarding the Manifesto of the Secular Islam Summit
The Manifesto of the Secular Islam Summit (known as the St. Petersburg Declaration) calls for some things that are necessary and completely compatible with Islam: separation of mosque and state, protection of universal human rights, and the promotion of intellectual diversity.
But in order to be a unifying, effective call to action, the Declaration must include, unapologetically, the voices of faithful Muslims. As Irshad Manji said at the end of her address, ‘this summit cannot be used to alienate people of faith who are on the side of secularism. The question is, how will we ensure that we are on their side?’
In our view, the summit Declaration fails to meet this challenge. It should clarify that secular Muslims are not necessarily atheists or people who have renounced the faith; rather, secular Muslims believe in separating clerics and politics, and this isn’t any less loving of Allah, respectful of the Prophet Muhammad, or appreciative of the Quran.
Our offer to amend the Declaration met with silence. However, Summit organizers have told us that the Declaration could evolve in the coming months. To that end, we propose the following statement be added:
‘Practicing Muslims are an integral and valuable part of the global community, as well as essential to any movement for secular, faith-respecting states that work toward universal human rights. We acknowledge the peaceful observance of Islam to be a legitimate choice for many. We stand by those who embrace an Islam that defends critical thinking, empathy, justice, and non-violence. They are our allies, and we are theirs.’
Irshad Manji
Founder and President, Project Ijtihad
Raquel Evita Saraswati
Vice-President, Project Ijtihad
Your letters - posted February 14, 2007
Posted in Q & A on Feb 14, 2007
Little Irshad plays the bride in Kampala, Uganda
Posted February 14, 2007
The Muslim Refusenik Valentine’s series just wouldn’t be complete without a sample of the marriage proposals I’ve been getting lately. To those whom I reject: Please know I’m truly flattered by your attention.
And to those who write to emphasize that they’d never, EVER, marry me: Please know I’m truly flattered by your attention.
I begin this update with emails from fans who regard me as the bride of choice. I end with foes who consider me the bride of Frankenstein. But the final email fits neither category. Sometimes the heart has a logic of its own…
“You are very courage NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. I love freedom, can I ask you: I love to marry you. And I am very sincere. Please answer me. Plus I find you very attractive for me as a man, then let’s have babies in Canada.” - Ali, Montreal
Irshad replies: Thanks so much for your kind words about my courage, Ali. I must say that you, yourself, are a brave soul for proposing marriage to me. I receive far more death threats than marriage proposals! In light of the fact that I could be killed anytime, I don’t think it would be responsible for me to bring children into this world. Children need a stable home life. I can’t provide that. So I sincerely suggest you find another nice girl with whom to have babies in Canada.
“I would like to 2 tell U that U are a beautiful lady, gorgeous n intelligent wiv the right curves. U look scintillating wiv ur hair. U married? Got kids? Til I hear from U?” - Dr. Ariganjoye, Lagos State, Nigeria
Irshad replies: My mother always wanted me to marry a doctor. Hmmm….
“Why not just convert to Christianity? That way I could marry you.” - Jay
Irshad replies: Better still, let’s both convert to Buddhism and have no attachment to each other! (I wasn’t impressed with your proposal, Jay, so I feel no bond. Good-bye.)
“Will you marry me?… I just want to let you know I admire you, especially the fact that you aren’t afraid to say exactly what you’re thinking, yet at the same time be tactful and intelligent. I endeavour to be more like you in that respect. I haven’t read your book, but I used to watch your program, Big Ideas, when you were still the host and tonight I caught most of your interview on CNN about the state of Islam in the world today. I’m a Bahai, so we don’t share the same religion, but for what it’s worth I consider you as an ally and a sister because we seem to be fighting for the same things.” - Kazim
Irshad replies: You haven’t yet read my book? How, then, do you expect me to marry you?? If you have an iPOD or MP3 player and would like to hear the book being read in my own voice (consider it pillow talk, big boy), you can purchase the audio files from my online store. Hope you’ll listen and get back to me with a more compelling proposal. Take a tip from the next guy…
“I’m a college student at Rutgers. I loved your booked. Finished it in 5 days. The only book I’ve ever finished in less time is Freakonomics (but don’t feel bad, I’m an economics nut…) I just had one moment of dissent. Towards the end, you grouped Malcolm X with the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King Jr. and Desmond Tutu. I don’t think Malcolm X belongs in that group. The other three espoused peaceful means of protest and promoted compassion and unity among all people. Malcolm X, however, was the poster-boy for segregation through his insistence on black pride and other forms of nationalism that did little to bring unity between blacks and whites. But I loved the rest of the book. Oh, and I love your hair and your Canadian accent. I’ve also decided that if I ever meet a girl who can write as well as you, I’m marrying her.” - Sri
Irshad replies: Point taken about Malcolm. But after completing the Hajj, Malcolm claimed to have undergone a personal transformation in favour [notice the Canadian spelling] of love, compassion and humanity. His public renunciation of previous inflammatory positions suggests some sincerity on his part. Regardless, I dig a boy who disagrees so respectfully with me. If you’re still single in 15 years, will you drop me another note?
Now for those who would never, ever marry me…
“Irshad, are you such a queer stupid piece of shit that doesn’t even know what sex you are? You are trash honey, due the right thing and kill yourself. Thanks.” - Abdul
Irshad replies: I’m killing myself laughing over your inability to spell a two-letter word: do. Please, Abdul, clarify my sexual orientation for me. Would you “due” me?
Abdul replies: “I wouldn’t let you near me you repulsive pile of zionist shit. Disgusting joo buttlicking lesbian whore. I just know you are hoping for more filth to write about muslims, you daughter of the dejal. Please be aware that your your time will come soon enough. Satan calls you dear.”
“God you are so ugly. Can you contact a plastic surgeon to see if he can help you.” - Daoud
Irshad replies: I prefer to be a modest Muslim girl and not obsess with my looks. However, I do have a doctor wanting to marry me (see three letters above). Mashallah, if he’s a plastic surgeon, the god of decadence will have answered your prayers! Keep your fingers, uh, crossed.
“First and foremost, the Ismaili are not Muslim, a sect with own brand of religion. So please do not call yourself a Muslim. You are a lesbian cheap whore who loves money. Your principles and views are hardly a prime example in any society. You are loved by the west only because of your views on Islam that earns you money. You along with others will follow the path of hell here and in hereafter.” - Mahmood
Irshad’s note to readers: Even though I’m not Ismaili, I refrained from replying to Mahmood. He wrote me again…
“Did you know in an interview Idi Amin was asked, why are you throwing the Ismaili Muslims fro Uganda, he replied who told you they are Muslim, he said they are the worst and misguided people on earth. Your friend Rushdie and Asra [Nomani] are no different. One has a harami child, I mean outside wedlock, and the other is harami himself. He is the result of many cultures. You must learn about Islam before you open your mouth.” - Mahmood
Irshad’s note to readers: Despite severe temptation to open my mouth, I still didn’t reply to Mahmood. And sure enough, he wrote me a third time…
“I have not read your book, in fact I will never read such trash written by your twisted mind. You are sick-minded, expert in distorting the facts and giving interpretations that suit you to make money. You are not a Muslim by any means and what’s more you have no idea about Islam, your book is proof of that. As far as sexual habits concern, I am not surprise. Your looks put people off sex for life. You are a cheap and nasty opportunists who loves money.” - Mahmood, London
Irshad finally replies: Let me get this straight, Mahmood. You say “I have not read your book” but then you say my “book is proof” that I “have no idea of Islam.” How would you know if you haven’t read it? Stop making this so easy for me, honey. As for my looks putting people off sex for life, you might be right. And I’m down with that: Celibacy ain’t no crime. But my platonic peeps can still have intellectual sex with me. Read the next letter…
“I have to contradict your letter writers. You are very cute (much better than pretty) if you don’t mind hearing it from a straight guy. It was cute that got me to stop skipping channels when I saw you on CSPAN, but it was YOU that got me to stay until the end of your speech and seek further information. Thank you for being you.” - Ben
Irshad replies: Awwwwww, Benny…
Ben sends a PS: “My mother, when she would see a very handsome gay guy, used to let out a long sight and say ‘Oh, such a waste…!’ I’m afraid I did the same thing.”
Irshad replies: My own mother likes to say to me, “Allah meant to make you a boy. But He changed His mind at the last minute and forgot a few things.” She thinks that’s funny. I’ll stick with your comment about being cute.
Your letters - posted February 7, 2007
Posted in Q & A on Feb 07, 2007
Irshad’s little sis marries a non-Muslim guy.
(Relax, mom. He’s a doctor.)
Posted February 7, 2007
Welcome to part two of my series revolving around Valentine’s Day. Are you a non-Muslim desperately in love with a Muslim? Is the Muslim about to bail because she or he believes that Islam prohibits inter-faith marriage?
Judging by the number of letters I’ve gotten over the past year, it looks like a lot of you are in this situation. But buck up: the Muslim Refusenik is here to help.
Actually, Dr. Khaleel Mohammed is here to help. He’s a professor of Islam at San Diego State U and an imam who’s studied at traditional universities in Saudi Arabia (for the Sunnis) and Syria (for the Shias). Read his defense of inter-faith marriage from an Islamic perspective, available in English and in French. It truly has the potential to save lives and loves.
Now to your anguish…
“I am a 28-year-old agnostic high school teacher who works with at-risk students. My girlfriend is Muslim and her father has told her that she can no longer see me. Yet she still lives with me (basically) and just lies. It seems that her brothers also lie to their father. I was raised by Catholics and while they lie, they seem to stop this when they get older. They tell their moms and dads what’s going on. Not so with the Muslims I meet. They drink, party, have sex, but keep it under the covers, so to speak.
My girlfriend is supposed to be going to Egypt soon to ‘find a husband’ as her father would say, and she accepts this at face value. I am not sure if she will ever change. Her father says they are direct descendents of the Prophet and has the family tree to prove it. So they are held to a higher standard. Help?” - Dominic
Irshad replies: You might remind your girlfriend’s parents that one of the Prophet’s own wives was a Jew. But that’s not my only response. Read on…
“I am a Catholic Italian American. I met a beautiful Arab princess last year. Her name is Gehan. I asked her to marry me some months ago and she said yes. Her father became outraged, put a gun to her head, and threatened to kill her for accepting my proposal. I am a good person and lead a clean life. I love her and respect her heritage. I want her family to judge me by my integrity and character, not by the fact that I am not Arab/Muslim. I have no intention of trying to shove Catholicism down her throat after marriage. I believe we all worship the same God, Muslims and Christians alike. Any advice from you would be greatly appreciated.” - Joe
Irshad replies: Joe, I have the same advice for you as I do for the guy before you and the guy after you. Keep reading - and know that you’re not alone…
“I’m really heart-broken right now because the love of my life, Salima, happens to be Muslim and her family arranged for her to marry someone else. They were extremely disappointed with her because I’m a Christian and, well, I’m not appropriate for her. It’s ‘haram’ [forbidden]. We were together for a while and really loved each other. Then when I came back to the States her family made her cut ties with me and write me emails telling me I was a mistake and all kinds of lies she admitted later when she called me. Now she’s marrying someone else and I just wanna know why Islam doesn’t allow her to be with me. Why can’t a Christian marry a Muslim? I just feel a lot of resentment towards Islam and I figured you might be able to help me.” - C from Dallas
Irshad replies: Brother C, Islam DOES allow inter-faith marriages. Read this, and feel free to send it to your former girlfriend’s family so they know that their bigotry is exactly that: bigotry, not faith. You probably won’t win Salima back, which sucks supremely. But at least you’ll know what to give the parents of the next Muslim woman you get involved with. Forget a dowry. Give them this document.
“I am in love with a Muslim woman. With our personalities, our love, our friendship and our outlook on life, we are made for each other. Each of us have a different religion, and we do not mind. We will not push the other to convert. The only problem is that her parents may fall into the typical culturally biased opinion of it being wrong. Otherwise her parents love me and would want for us to be married. If we have ‘proof’ that this marriage is ok according to a scholar, then we might win their support.” - Scott
Irshad replies: Here’s your proof, Scott. Don’t forget to send me a wedding photo. And, in any moments of marital despair due to differing religions, take inspiration from the next guy…
“I have been married for 50 years to a Protestant whereas I grew up a Catholic. We have found a natural way of accepting each other’s values and live according to common sense principles of human existence, including accepting our society as it is and not as we would like it to be. We pray words of thanks before meals and before we go to sleep, although neither of us goes to church.
If only the ultra-conservative religious leaders were so enlightened as to accept common sense human desire to be a friend to all fellow citizens. Then they themselves would find a new world full of love. To those of you spilling your vicious diatribes of hatred: Get a life!”
Irshad replies: Or get a wife – and love her for who she is, not for the God (or gods) she fears.
“Eight years ago I met the man of my dreams. We fell in love and began an incredible honest and mature relationship that both our families and friends knew about it. I am Sikh, he is Muslim. We began dating with the ultimate goal of getting married and quite often discussed the issue of our different faiths but were honest with each other from the beginning. I told him I would not be able to convert to marry him but I respected his religion and his values so much that I would have no problem with our children being raised Muslim. And he was ok with that too, saying he would never ask me to convert because all that mattered to him was that I believed in God.
But as we both got older his views changed to the point that he said we could not get married unless I became a true, practising Muslim because he was afraid it would be confusing for our children and that he would be going against God. I told him I respected him, I respected his religion, and I wanted our children to be Muslim, but that I needed to maintain my faith in order to maintain my identity. However, I would support him and support his religion in our life every day and would study his religion to better understand it so I could help him in teaching our children. We agonized over this situation for the past two and a half years and were never able to reach a compromise. We broke up less than two months ago and now he plans to marry a Muslim girl, simply because she is Muslim.
Irshad, do you have any information, anything at all that would help us and our situation. I do not believe marrying someone you love is going against God. I understand I am not Muslim, but I truly feel the my morals and values are the same as a Muslim’s. I truly respect Islam because it is a huge part of why I love this man.” - DS
Irshad replies: Sis, it’s at times like these that organized religion breaks my heart. Why do people choose a set of external rules over authentic, organic love? You answered my question, at least in part, when you wrote of your boyfriend that “he was was afraid…” Fear does, indeed, mangle our innate humanity. All the more reason that I’m grateful to Imam Khaleel Mohammed for sticking his neck out and writing this defense of inter-faith marriage from an Islamic perspective. That might just be the information you need to “help us and our situation.”
But wait, many Muslims will now say that Imam K’s argument applies only to the “People of the Book” as defined by the Quran. Not quite, I say. Islam’s holy book tells us that anybody – anybody – who believes in one God and the last day has nothing to fear or regret. Surely Sikhs are among them. They believe in only one God. As expressed in the Japji Sahib, a hymn that contains the essence of Sikhism, “There is Only One God, Truth is His Name, He is the Creator, Protector, Without Fear, No Enmity, The First Entity, Without Incarnations, Self-perpetuating; With the Guru’s grace: Recite!”
So, sister, you’ve got a good case here. Get your man back with this information. I’d like to think he’ll be relieved. But if he refuses the information because labels mean more than love, then thank the one God that you didn’t have children with the dude. Let me know how it works out.
“I’m a 19-year-old Moroccan Jew who’s been involved with an Afghan Muslim guy for the past two years. It’s hard having my parents, who only want me dating/being with a Jew, while my boyfriend’s family are into the whole arranged marriage thing. You’d think that being in such a diverse city like Toronto, they’d ALL loosen up a bit.” - Ashley
Irshad replies: Girl, I don’t know what to do about your own parents. But ever considered giving your boyfriend’s parents Imam K’s defense of inter-faith marriage?
Ashley replies: I just finished reading what the imam wrote. I would show it to my boyfriend’s parents, but they can’t stand me. My boyfriend’s father won’t even look at me. I try to say hi, but he’ll just turn his head. His mother, she’s okay with me. But that’s only because (like my boyfriend’s sister told her) “she has no choice.” It’s really irritating when you get two families hating each other.
My boyfriend and I were thinking about how our wedding would be if we actually DID go that far… It was so sketchy! First of all, where would it take place? A mosque? Or a synagogue? I told him we should just do it in a church. Then no one would get their way and there’s no conflict! Haha.
You should really write a book on this topic. I know MANY friends of mine are in the same situation. Think about it. =)
Irshad replies: Don’t know that there’s an entire book in all of this, Ashley, but there are definitely more angles to explore. Stay tuned.
Your letters - posted January 22, 2007
Posted in Q & A on Jan 22, 2007
Posted January 22, 2007
Friends and foes: Valentine’s Day is coming up and I’ll be devoting the next several updates to encouraging the celebration of love - particularly between Muslims and infidels.
Welcome to the first installment: emails from Muslims who’ve hooked up with non-Muslims. Many are desperate to know if Islam allows inter-faith relationships. I’ve received so many e’s asking this q that I’ve had a progressive imam, Prof. Khaleel Mohammad, write a defense of inter-faith marriage — from an Islamic perspective. You can download his argument in English ou en Francais. (Oui, nous sommes très bilingue.)
If you’re a Muslim who wants to convince your parents that God loves love, present this document to them. Don’t tell them you got it off my site! All they need to know is that it comes from a Muslim cleric. His name and credentials are in the doc. Now for some moon-struck Muslims…
“I am Indonesian muslim marrying jewish guy. now have been living in USA for almost 5 yrs. To my knowledge it is not allowable for muslim woman to marry different religion and also I do not think it is acceptable in muslim community. what is your knowledge about the above matter?” - jazmine
Irshad replies: Frankly, Jaz, it doesn’t matter what I think. It’s what your heart tells you that counts. But if you’re serious about wanting knowledge, read Imam Khaleel Mohammad’s defense of interfaith marriage. He’s got the intellectual chops to bless you big-time.
“I am a progressive liberal Muslim American of Pakistani descent… Of particular interest to me are like-minded imams who will perform Islamic marriage ceremonies for Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men. I know two of my sisters struggled to find such an imam when it came time to marry their ‘converted’ husbands. I intend to marry a non-Muslim, non-’convert’ and would like my mother to have some type of ceremony that she can invite her fellow Muslim friends to, but that would not be intolerable to me. Do you have any leads on where this type of clergy might be found?” - Tayiba
Irshad replies: As it turns out, Imam Khaleel officiates inter-faith weddings whenever possible. Click here for his contact info. And don’t forget to send me a wedding photo!
“I am from a Muslim family but I am agnostic and in a relationship with a Muslim woman. According to her, she is committing a sin being with me and cannot marry me. We are madly in love and want to spend the rest of our lives together. But she is going to break up with me because she is afraid of making Allah unhappy. I am sure that I am not going to convert to Islam. I can understand her perspective. What can we do to make this relationship work? We cannot live without each other and we are both heart-broken. Please help us.” - Ehsan
Irshad replies: Ok, first things first. You’ve got to give her Imam Khaleel’s document. Or read it to her. Then she’ll know she’s not making Allah unhappy by marrying you. Even though Imam K is talking about people of different faiths, the principles he enunciates apply to those who are agnostic as well. After all, to be agnostic doesn’t mean you don’t believe in God; it means you can’t prove (or disprove) that God exists. In that sense, we’re all agnostics. Which means we marry them, too.
“My girlfriend is a VERY faithful Christian. The closer to her I grow, the more I realize that my parents would ultimately like to see me with a Muslim girl, not because they are any more intelligent, kind, warm… but merely because they possess the same religious credentials. I want to thank you for expressing so eloquently what very many young Muslims have been afraid to do. I also think it’s brilliant how you use direct quotes from the Qur’an, making your points all the more emphatic. I sense a feeling of relief to know that it is not wrong to think with a liberal mind about Islam.” - Mohammad
Irshad replies: It is NEVER wrong to think, Moe. That’s the difference between faith and dogma. Faith is secure enough to handle questions. Faith doesn’t need to threatened by thought. Dogma, on the other hand, does.
NEXT INSTALLMENT: Letters from non-Muslims who are head-over-heels in love with Muslims. But there’s trouble in paradise. Why? Stay tuned…
Your letters - posted January 11, 2007
Posted in Q & A on Jan 11, 2007
Posted January 11, 2007
Never again?
Dear Friends and Foes: Mehdi Rafai is a young Muslim who has written to me on many occasions. We don’t agree on every issue but we respect each other’s passion, faith and humanitarianism.
Mehdi’s latest message to me tackles Muslim complacency about the genocide in Darfur. He’s asked me to post a petition calling on more Muslims to speak up. How refreshing.
I’ve personally signed the petition and ask you to do the same. You don’t have to be Muslim to endorse and circulate this. You just have to care.
God bless you, Mehdi.
—
PREAMBLE BY MEHDI RAFAI:
On December 21, 2006, TVO’s Steven Paikin interviewed Michael Petrou, senior writer at Maclean’s magazine and author of “Genocide in Slow Motion” on the conflict in Darfur and how it is spreading to Chad. Paikin asked, since the conflict is between Arab Muslims and African Muslims, what, if any, assistance had come from the Muslim world to help the situation in Darfur?
Petrou answered that although help was minimal from anywhere, the West was feeding the refugees, while the only help offered by Muslims was a huge, multi-story mosque paid for by Saudi Arabia in the middle of the poverty-stricken capital of Chad, Anjamina.
In response to this, I have written a petition asking that Muslim countries do more to help with Muslim-against-Muslim conflicts. Muslims seem quick to protest foreign injustices, perceived or real, but when our fellow Muslims are fighting amongst each other, we say nothing. I want to help change that. Will you join me and Irshad in supporting the petition below?
PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK:
http://www.petitiononline.com/msaimva2/petition.html
—
Want more information about Darfur and Sudan?
The founder of Ijtihad Boston has written something you should read. Click here.
Your letters - posted January 1, 2007 (Part 4)
Posted in Q & A on Jan 01, 2007
“Why is it that seemingly rational and well-educated individuals like Mohammad Atta [ringleader of the September 11 hijackers] could subscribe to such an interpretation of Islam, and perpetuate extreme violence in its name?” - Philip, Singapore
Irshad replies: You’re right to describe Mohammad Atta as seemingly rational. He grew up as a secular Muslim. He evolved into a moderate, not fundamentalist, Muslim. He certainly wasn’t dumb; Atta earned an engineering degree in Egypt and did his post-graduate work in Germany.
But too much rationality might have been part of Atta’s problem. He was never taught to think creatively or to live with uncertainty. He studied fields that required rote memorization and provided formulaic answers. His approach to the Koran reflected Atta’s need for cold, hard absolutes. As he wrote in his suicide note, “It is enough for us to know that the verses of the Koran are the words of the creator of the Earth and the planets.” Notice the words, “It is enough for us to know…”
However, it is not enough to know what the Koran says. For the Koran, like every scripture, is as much an historical document as a divinely inspired one. Only months before 9/11, a German professor of Middle East languages published research that showed the Koran’s promise for martyrs — namely, virgins in heaven — is based on the mis-translation of a word that more accurately translates into raisins! (This isn’t as crazy as it sounds. In 7th-century Arabia, raisins would have been pricey and exotic delicacies, worthy of exporting to heaven.)
What if Atta had known that key words about the hereafter can be legitimately contested, even when they appear in the Koran? That they may not all be the words of “the Creator of the Earth and the planets”? That the pay-off for self-immolation, never mind mass murder, is dubious? That the prospect of paradise is guesswork, not a guarantee? Maybe then he would have held back. Maybe. The possibility begs for attention.
Philip, I don’t pretend that this is the full answer to your question. Still, I do think it’s a vastly overlooked piece of it.
“Many people are of the opinion that you are extremely courageous to take certain positions. However, I don’t see you as courageous at all. Rather, you strike me as someone who is quite simply intelligent and honest, and who has the integrity not to compromise your intellect in order to fit in with the fashions, trends, and popular opinions that have been established by those who are pursuing their own selfish interests. As a result, when you speak, you make complete sense to me and you renew my faith in the fact that people - all people - may very well have a wonderful future on this earth together.” - Art
Irshad replies: Or not… Read the next email.
“You said you live in a democratic state and you have the right to voice your opinion. You are right. But that doesn’t mean you go around disrespecting other people’s religion. If I wrote a similar book addressing the same issues against Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, etc, would I get similar support? NO!!
When I go out on the street or when I’m in the subway or when I’m in the mall shopping, all the white people shoot me dirty looks, treat me differently, call out names, plainly disrespect me! Where is your human rights law then?? How come you have teamed with these people instead of helping all the Muslims?? Have you gone on the other side???
The next time you write a book, think about what you are going to write. Because by writing this book you are hurting and disrespecting Muslims who do not think the same way as you. Thank you!” - Anonymous
“I am 17. I once asked the same types of questions to my local mosques that you have asked. At first I was rebellious and thought that Islam treated women wrong. Then I started to look into the beauty behind it… You have to realize that Islam is a struggle for a reason. A huge reason. Islam can never be western, eastern, northern, southern, or whatever. It’s a state of its own. And yes I realize that many Muslims are doing injustice, but come on now. Who isn’t? I mean, be realistic… Islam is the most beautiful thing you can ever witness in this life, and a life has not been properly lived if you have not not experienced it. ” - Noreen
Irshad replies: Okay, Noreen, since you insist on being realistic, let me ask you something. When you call Islam “the most beautiful thing,” are you describing Islam in its REAL or in its IDEAL form? Let’s face it: Everything is wonderful in its ideal state. Communism is egalitarian as an ideal. Capitalism is fair as an ideal. The U.S. Constitution bestows liberty and justice for all — in its ideal. As many Muslims will attest, the realities are very different. As a person of conscience, I, then, have to confront of the realities of Islam.
By the way, I think Prophet Muhammad would have embraced this distinction between the real and the ideal. He was reportedly asked, “What is religion?” And he reportedly replied, “Religion is the way we conduct ourselves toward others.” By that distinction, how we Muslims behave — not in theory, but in reality — is Islam. As you’ve acknowledged, “many Muslims are doing injustice.” We’re capable of doing better, and thereby living up to Islam’s ideals. But we’ll never get there if we ignore what ails the faith today. Rather than sanitizing Islam, let’s get real.
“Irshad, you have really helped me, an Arab teenage male of 17 years. Your speech brings a smile to my face, especially when you battle those ‘Islamic scholars’ with information they have misused. May Allah bless you.” - Hani
“I heard you on National Public Radio. The interview made me think about crusades, jihad, etc. I wonder if all religions go through a period of crusading. Christianity (my religion) certainly did and it seems that this is where Islam is today. Are crusades a part of the growth process for religions in general? Thanks for making everyone think.” - Matt
Irshad replies: Everyone? Not quite yet…
“Well, I can’t greet you in the normal Muslim way because you are a kafir [infidel] according to the Muslims, so ‘Hi.’ You are another one of the jews’ stunts in their little game to demolish and disgrace Islam. For a couple of bucks, you sold out Islam. Marvelous. First of all, the Koran (5:3) says that Islam is PERFECT, so it doesn’t need any reform. The Prophet left a complete religion before he passed away.
Why do you call yourself a Muslim? We really don’t need an itch on our asses. Please affiliate yourself with some other religion. I’m sure the Christians would embrace a lesbian with open arms.” - Siddique
Irshad replies: You’re correct about one thing — many liberal Christians have embraced me. It’s the right-wing Christians who spurn my advances, and for the same reasons you do: the fact that I’m a lesbian who challenges literalism. Don’t you see what this means? You have something in common with the Christians whom you so despise! God, I love building bridges.
But I think you’re wrong about something else. You say that Muslims don’t need an itch on their asses. Actually, every society, culture, and religion needs gadflies — those annoying little critters who pick away at the herd mentality by asking questions out loud. Consider Martin Luther King Jr. He was told by his fellow clergymen (those damned Christians again) that by advocating basic human rights, he would be creating needless tension. MLK’s response? “I must confess that I am not afraid of the word ‘tension.’ I have earnestly opposed violent tension, but there is a type of constructive, non-violent tension which is necessary for growth… We must see the need for non-violent gadflies to create the kind of tension in society that will help men rise from the dark depths of prejudice and racism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood.’ Martin Luther King was an ‘itch on the asses’ of plenty of Christians. The time has come for Muslims to do some serious scratching.
“I watched you arguing with two other Muslims on TV. You were being asked why you were airing dirty laundry outside; why not work within the community to change it. The closest analogy that comes to mind is that of corporate whistle-blowers. They are always treated as traitors by the insiders, but they find that the only way they can effect change is from the outside. The people who think they are traitors don’t realize the amount of soul-searching agony that these people go through to make this decision. If you approached your community with these ideas, how far would you get and how diluted would your message have to be to become acceptable to ‘mainstream’ Muslims? To make things happen, you are forced to the outside. And your pain is their gain - though they would never admit it.” - Joe
Irshad replies: Want to hear that rare Muslim who does admit it? Here you go, Joe…
“My family and I are Muslims. I am a professor of literature. My wife is a physician. We would like to extend to your our profound thanks for speaking out about the ‘trouble’ in Islam. Your amazingly courageous stand has made my life much easier to bear because, ever since 9/11, I have been deeply troubled by my adoptive faith. You also make it easier for me to figure out what to say to my kids, who are 10 and 13.
I saw you being grilled on TV. Just by asking taboo questions, you brought out extreme emotions in your interlocutors, who were rooted in tribalism and literalism. I would apologize to you for some of the cheap shots you had to suffer. May you persevere in your quest and keep safe!” - Alamin
“I read your article, Challenging Islam is Risky. Why in the world should it be risky in the first place? Unless those who are offended by the challenge are pathologically insecure themselves? Finding themselves on shaky ground, the only answer they can come up with is ‘Kill the questioner!’ Now, that is hardly a persuasive defense of the truth they are supposed to believe in!” - Kalim
“I am a 41-year-old Arab-American born into this wonderful religion. The older I get, hopefully the wiser I become. I have always believed in being a Muslim but did not truly understand it until I married my husband, who helped me to understand by having an open mind. The beauty of his country and Islam is that you have the right as a human being to speak your mind and say what you need to say. The difference between Islam and all the other religions is that Islam has not been changed…
Perhaps you should continue trying to change people’s minds and not wasting your time trying to change a religion that has stayed true for 1500 years. Save the royalties you get from your book and instead of trying to reform Islam, give to Islamic charities.” - Darlene
Irshad replies: Your husband and I have something in common. I’m not here to change minds as much as to open them, and to my own opened. That’s a form of Islamic charity — one that requires a lot more time and thought than saving my royalties and writing someone a check.
“First step to save Islam is to establish freedom of speech that will allow debating what the Koran really means and how authentic the Hadiths (sayings of the Prophet Muhammad) really are. We need tolerance even to the point of blasphemy. Criticism of the Prophet and even God need to be allowed. I did read the Koran and I can interpret it in a way that will be more more humane than the traditional preaching of the mullah oligarchy. That is why I agree with others that it is Muslims that need to change first. Then we can reinterpret the religion without the religion without feeling like hypocrites.
I do feel that do not stress one fact — there are people who would like to see you exterminated just because you are Muslim. They do not care how liberal and open-minded you are. While we Muslims need to debate among ourselves, we will have to have a united front in our fight against hate-mongers.” - Abu, New Jersey
Irshad replies: Fair enough, Abu, but remember that hate-mongers come in all packages. Those who would like to see me exterminated, no matter how open-minded I am, include other Muslims. Check out the next letter…
“Irshad, your book is rubbish. Continue to be a factotum of Anglo-Saxon arrogance and hostility. People like you see the world through the eyes of the European - you know nothing about Islam. It is a pity that Idi Amin didn’t finish off you and your family.” - Adnan
“As a young Muslim living in the West, I must say that you have a lot of guts. I mean, saying that Islam needs to change. Whoa! I actually don’t mind Islam the way it is… The Quran was revealed over a period of time, so there are contradictions. But really, it’s called having FAITH. If you wanna say stuff about Islam, more power to you. But know, I am not too thrilled.” - Lavender
Irshad replies: Albert Einstein once said that “great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” What makes you a great spirit is not your point-of-view, but your willingness to let others have theirs. What a reasonable start to the liberal reformation of Islam.
“I have read the e-mails from your readers. The anti-’you writing this book’ folk really make me shudder. It is Muslims who live in the Western parts of the world who seem to severely criticize you, but who live behind the veil of freedom of speech.” - Alan
Irshad replies: I disagree, Alan. I hear support from Muslims throughout the West — and beyond. If I’ve posted more criticisms than support, it’s because I would rather err on the side of humility than hubris.
I disagree with something else. You describe those who oppose writing this book as as my “readers.” In most cases, they haven’t read the book at all. And that’s what makes me shudder.
“Irshad, you are a role model. I belong to Liberal International. Defending liberal ideals and human justice is the noblest of work and should be rewarded. You also welcome criticism, which is the rock of liberalism. Thanks for being a humane voice in a chaotic world.” - Ivan
“Thank you for your commentary on the murder of Theo van Gogh in Amsterdam. In the Netherlands we are shocked and we fear for our society. Van Gogh was a critic of Islam and often used offensive language to criticize Muslims… But he also showed sincere engagement with young Muslims in his movies, such as “Najib & Julia” and “Cool,” in which he addressed the problems of the lives of second generation Muslims in the West. Now he is dead, killed by a young Muslim fundamentalist from Amsterdam. Right now we are all afraid for what comes next, and I hope we can establish a dialogue between Muslims and non-Muslims about the way we can live peacefully together. Irshad, keep up doing the good work, for a lot of dialogue is needed right now.” - William, Amsterdam
Irshad replies: Dialogue with faithful Muslims, yes. Negotiation with hateful Muslims, no. Let’s be clear about that distinction. The good news, William, is that dialogue has a fighting chance. Hell, even Italy seems open to it, as you can see from the email below…
“I’m an Italian girl. This is only to say, go ahead and say the truth. I’ll try to do my best here in Rome with my friends, Muslims or non-Muslims. With all my love!” - Federica
“You mention in your article that you avoid a bodyguard partly because you don’t want to convey the message that criticizing Islam should be a fearful, paranoid project. I think the message should be conveyed that it is a terribly and tragically fearful project. Your rather cavalier fearlessness worries me…” - Erich
Irshad replies: I strive for balance, Erich. The point is not to be cavalier or paranoid, but to be prepared. And I am prepared. Thanks for your concern. Now how about showing me your courage?
“Just wanted to tell you that you have my full support. I’m a Muslim and I know how narrow-minded our people can be. But I vote for change and I’m sure there are many like me who are closeted about it. I’m glad to see that there is someone who is taking her beliefs and making them public. I hope you’re not letting the harsh critics get to you. Unfortunately, it comes with the territory.” - Abeed
Irshad replies: So does stamina, and I’ve got lots of it. But I can’t do this alone. Those who defend the status quo will never be convinced of the need for humility unless reform-minded Muslims turn our hunger for change into a visible phenomenon. You’re right: Islam has plenty of closet humanitarians. Come out, come out, wherever you are.
“I picked up the book and read it straight in about 5 hours yesterday. I do occasionally think you confuse the actions of Muslims with the religion itself, but that has been debated all over in other letters of yours. Other than that, I give you an anxious and fearful thumbs up. Thumbs up because your questions rage in my mind. Fearful because by asking and thinking these things, we may be forsaking our religion. I hope not.” - An anxious and depressed Muslim in the UK
Irshad replies: Why must the choice be between forsaking religion or keeping religion? Why not a third choice — transforming religion?
“U are one of the biggest morons in this world what makes you think you can change Islam or finish Islam off you cant period you cant do anything about it inshAllah I hope you come back to the right way Ms. Lesbian” - Anonymous
“I was raised Muslim and I am gay. Voices like yours and Al-Fatiha [support group for gay and lesbian Muslims] are great for intellectual/political thought. Thank you, thank you, thank you! However, on television, you said you do not know if your God approves of your same-sex orientation. Please know that your and our God loves and accepts diversity. God does not care if someone is male or female or whether their partner is male or female. Courageous and strong people like you are definitely the greatest expression of God through us in this world. Peace.” - Kristin
“The urgent need for the work you have undertaken cannot be over-emphasized. The stupidity that I see around me among Muslims here in the West, especially in the USA, is mind-boggling. I feel so overwhelmed by the situation that in spite of my conviction to combat irrationality I become irrational myself. I don’t really know how to channel my thoughts and energies into something of worth. I cannot fathom how a thinking person seeing this indoctrination in Muslims can retain his or her faith in a personal god. Or maybe this is because I came to the path of critical thinking through the mother of all questions — ie. does god exist? That is why it was fascinating more than illuminating to read you. Because with almost the same feelings that I have, you still seem to have faith. I wish you good luck.” - Muhammad
Irshad replies: I thank you for avoiding the irrationality of what I call “missionary atheists” — that is, atheists who become so orthodox in denouncing religion that they mimic religious fundamentalists by trying to convert me into ditching God. You’re a credit to your disbelief.
“I finished your book… and I liked it. What you are trying to do is very important and unless you are serious and ready to go all the way, don’t bother because you will not get anywhere. Everything is against you… woman/lesbian/non-Arab. So try to reign your sarcasm and be calmer during your discussions. On the other hand, I was surprised that you never mentioned anything about inheritance laws in the Koran… how unjust they are for women. You must look into that subject. God bless you.” - Ally
Irshad replies: I hope I’m not splitting hairs when I point out that there are no “laws” as such in the Koran. There are words, and those words are interpreted by men to shape laws. The key words here are “interpreted” and “men.” That is, the Koran says a daughter should receive half the inheritance of her brother, because her brother is expected to share his inheritance with family members in need. There are claims on a man’s income that, in theory, there aren’t on a woman’s. In reality, of course, this principle gets distorted by sharia courts, which in turn are influenced by patriarchal prejudices and convenient cultural biases. I hope I don’t sound like a Muslim apologist when I point out that in cases like this, Islam is not the problem; Muslims are. However, the fact that under almost every interpretation of Islam today, women suffer second-class status (at best) suggests that a deep problem does exist within Islam today. No apologia on my part. And, hopefully, no sarcasm either.
“Some of the things that you have mentioned in your book are correct. It is correct to say that things such as honour killings are carried out by crazy illiterate people in some areas of Pakistan. People are exploiting Islam for their own purposes and nothing is being done about it. But there is certainly something wrong with you when you question the authenticity of the Quran. You write this about the Prophet: ‘Sometimes, the Prophet himself had an agonizing go at deciphering what he heard.’ And you call yourself a Muslim. The source that you have used for this statement is someone called Karen Armstrong. Was this Karen Armstrong present when the Prophet received revelations?” - Fouad
Irshad replies: Nope, Karen Armstrong was not present. But your questions begs the obvious: Were you?
“ENEMY OF ISLAM, IF YOU SEIZE TO DESIST FROM YOUR CONDEMNATION OF ISLAM AND THE MUSLIM, YOU SHALL FACE THE WRATH OF ALLAH THE ALL-WISE WHOM YOU BLASPHEME AGAINST.” - Anonymous
Irshad replies: What’s blasphemous about following the Koranic verse that announces: “O Believers! Conduct yourselves with justice and bear true witness, even if it be against yourselves, your family or your kin” (4:135). Or the ones that says: “God changes not what is in a people until they change what is in themselves” (13:11). Or the passage that tells us: “There is no compulsion in religion” (2:256). Unless, of course, you cast doubt on those verses. In which case, who’s blaspheming?
“Just because you are odd, they picked you.
Not because you are intellectual.
Not because you are a free thinker.
Not because you are outstanding.
What is the common thing between the following three figures: Taslima Nasrin, Salman Rushdie and you?
I say: the three are self-haters.
And the West adores collecting these mummies.
Brothers and sisters, the caravan marches, and the dogs shout.” - Ali
Irshad replies: What a gorgeous poem. Almost hypnotic. But I’m a dog and I know only how to bark. So I must woof this question: Where is your vaunted caravan of Islam marching? To some human rights haven? To an oasis of independent thinking? Or to a destination called brain-dead? Enough shouting canines can interrupt the complacent slumber of people in the caravan. That’s when our doggedness will have served a purpose. Now if you’ll excuse me, I see a bone with my name on it.
“Hey there! I’m at page 46 and thoroughly enjoying myself. All these Muslim fundos scream about the Bible being changed, but they never accept the fact about the true compilation of the Koran. Omar [Prophet Muhammad’s third successor, under whose watch the Koran was compiled] f****ed around with it a lot and made his changes prevalent, just like Constantine did with the Bible. But we have to keep that strictly hush-hush, don’t we?
I’ve done a lot of reading on this and tried to have a few rational conversations about it with people, but unfortunately have yet to find even one who has any sense of history and the slightest inclination to put two and two together!!” - Kash
Irshad replies: Maybe you should hook up with the next reader. Be gentle with him; his language is, shall we say, more formal than yours…
“I am a Professor of New Testament exegesis in the Theological Faculty at the University of Helsinki, Finland. I have also studied the Qur’an. I have long been intrigued by the question: Could it one day be possible for Muslims to study the Qur’an with methods similar to those used in critical study of the Bible? Over the years, I have collected signs, however modest, pointing in that direction from the writings of Muslim scholars. But even the boldest writers seem to have shrunk from the consequences of their own reflections. For example, Fazlur Rahman and Abdullah An-Na’im are good at moral criticisms of the sharia [Islamic law], but do not go all the way when it comes to assessing the divinity of the Qur’an.
One is left wondering whether people are nevertheless asking questions beneath the surface. Your website suggests that this is indeed sometimes the case — and your book is a huge step forward.” - Heikki
Irshad replies: Among the most common emails I receive are those insisting that the Koran is perfect. Free of human editing. Virgin. So I honestly don’t foresee the day when critical thinking about the Koran will be as prevalent, or profound, as scholarship about the Bible and the Torah. For that day to come, Muslims who have questions about the Koran will need to express themselves openly.
The good news is that Muslims who respectfully question the Koran do exist. To be sure, most of them are quiet. What they require is not more rationality, but more courage. I can only hope that loud-mouths like me, through our very presence, will eventually convince them that it’s possible to dissent with orthodoxy, remain faithful and remain alive. Some say I’m naïve. The next guy would fall into that category…
“Unfortunately, there is no way to reform Islam without really changing its foundations. I studied philosophy in Cairo under a Muslim reformer named Dr. Hassan Hanfi. His attempts to renew Islam are not listened to by Muslims. Actually, he has been announced a kafir [disbeliever] by some Muslim scholars.
Most liberal attempts to reform Islam are doomed to fail. The Quran’s own fundamentals will not allow such reformation. We need to understand that Muslims believe the Quran is the ‘exact word of Allah,’ which means we have NO FREEDOM to interpret it the way we want.” - Iraqi ex-Muslim
Irshad replies: I can’t disagree with you that Muslims believe the Koran is the exact word of God. Even moderate Muslims believe, as an article of faith, that the Koran is infallible. On the surface, this doesn’t give us much room for reform. But the Koran is open-ended enough to support progressive interpretations and not just regressive ones.
Take the question of women’s equality. For all the Koranic passages that are hostile to women, there are plenty of other passages that empower women. For example, the Koran gives women the right to reject marriage. And those who choose marriage have the right to impose conditions on it (see Koran 4: 128).
Bottom line: Muslims who wish to “live by the book” have no choice but to make choices about what to emphasize and what to downplay. Selectiveness is inevitable. And that, in turn, means female-friendly interpretations of Islam are possible. It’s not the Koran that’s stopping us from promoting such interpretations. We Muslims, through fear, ignorance, laziness and prejudice, are stopping ourselves.
“As a card-carrying atheist, I wonder why you have not finally rejected Islam outright, and every other organised belief system for that matter? After all, it is only by accident of birth — who your parents were — that you are a Muslim. You were brainwashed from an early age into believing what you believe about Islam, when you were a vulnerable child. We hear so much about physical abuse of children, yet such mental abuse is actually defended in this country and many others!…
A terrific book on losing one’s religion was written by Dan Barker and is called Losing Faith in Faith – From Preacher to Atheist. As an atheist, I am bound to invite you to ‘Come on in, the water’s lovely’ as we say in these parts (Scotland)!” - Alistair
Irshad replies: Ali – forgive me for shortening your name to a Muslim moniker; we religious hangers-on can’t help ourselves — my answer to your question can be found over and over again in the letters archive. It can also be found in my recent New York Times commentary about Islam and Europe. If you disagree with my answer, by all means tell me. But for God’s sake (correction: for crying out loud), read my repeated answers and let’s move the conversation forward!
By the way, your parting sentence intrigues me. You say, “As an atheist, I am bound to invite you to ‘Come on in, the water’s lovely…’ Bound? By what? I thought the point of atheism was to fight bondage. Or are you implying that atheism can become a religion unto itself — complete with a metaphorical baptism in its ‘lovely waters’? Before I convert, I need to know what I’m getting myself into, water and all.
“You are a courageous lady. Keep telling the truth and please try to change your sexual orientation.” - Nasir, Pakistan
Irshad replies: What if “telling the truth” means being honest about my sexual orientation rather than trying to change it? Just a thought.
“I agree with virtually everything you say. However, I believe you have made two strategic errors. Firstly, your lesbianism is not relevant to the points you make and only gives your detractors another reason to malign you. Mentioning your sexuality in your book is unnecessary. Secondly, some of your critics believe what you say in your book is unsourced because you do not have footnotes on each page, but elsewhere.” - Azam
Irshad replies: You’re right that I’ve taken heat for both of these decisions. But let me explain why I stand by them. For starters, there’s no way I could have hidden my sexuality in a book whose sub-title, in most countries, is A Wake-Up Call for Honesty and Change. I would have been pilloried as a hypocrite — someone who won’t be honest about herself but has the temerity to urge others to do so. Yes, I could have chosen a different sub-title, but that wouldn’t have altered the fact that my book is still about the need for Muslims to be honest about ourselves and the diverse world we inhabit.
Which means an integral theme of my book is pluralism. If we’re going to get real, we Muslims have to own up to the fact that gays and lesbians are part of our universe. Moreover, according to the Koran, Allah deliberately designed the world’s multiplicity. Translation: homosexuals might be creatures of God! One way or the other, I would have had to address sexual orientation in my book. The twin themes of honesty and diversity necessitated me being out of the closet.
As for my source notes, I admit it was a gamble to put them on my website rather than in my book. Still, there are good reasons for doing so: I’m not clogging the conversational flow of my letter by interrupting every sentence with a footnote. Also, I’m keeping the book accessibly priced, especially for students. Adding paper to the book would have increased its cost. Finally, let me remind Muslims that the Koran advises us not to kill trees needlessly — yet another reason to avoid using more paper for source notes. Would my pious Muslim critics disagree with the Koran?
“I am a regular subscriber of TIME magazine and generally find the articles useful and informative. Imagine, then, how immensely annoyed I was to find a picture of you in a [commentary] article… Annoyed, I may add, and not angry or surprised. After all, one need only look at the ownership of the illustrious publication. I fail to see why so many Muslims, however well-intentioned they may be, care to waste high emotion on anything you have to say… You offer up countless quotes, allegedly from the Quran, to back up your arguments while at the same time contending that the Quran is not the Word of God. Why bother then? Does it not, by your own contention, weaken your argument? If what you are saying is so firm and solid then find material to establish it in its own right…” - Anam
Irshad replies: The only way to show the inconsistencies in the Koran is by quoting from it. But I’m not telling Muslims to believe that the Koran is worthless. Not at all. I’m sincere about helping to heal our religion from the inside, which is why I’ve taken the trouble to imagine solutions that are theologically legitimate. That means going back to the Koran. (See chapter 7.) That also means respecting the humane traditions of Islam – traditions such as ijtihad or independent reasoning. (See chapter 3.) Finally, legitimacy requires consulting sources far and wide, from the Koran itself to academic journals to the reports of institutions like the United Nations to proceedings from Islamic conferences to first-hand interviews. (See the sources and notes section of this website, where my ‘alleged’ quotes from the Koran are cited with full attribution. Feel free to double-check them for yourself.)
Anam, I understand why you’re annoyed with me. It’s not my credentials or TIME’s ownership that you’re concerned about. It’s your identity. As the journalist Christopher Hitchens observes, ‘If you have ever argued with a religious devotee, you will have noticed that [her] self-esteem and pride are involved in the dispute…’ I empathize. My own identity as a Muslim is challenged every day by correspondents like you. Yet I remain sufficiently secure in my faith to post an excerpt from your message and let readers reach their own conclusions. Faith, after all, is not threatened by dissent. Dogma, on the other hand, is.
By the way, it’s revealing that you “generally find the articles useful and informative” in TIME magazine. After all, just look at their ownership…
“As salaamu Aleikum, Sis. You really have touched my heart and head. I saw your interview in the Buddhist magazine, Shambala Sun. It was sent to me by interfaith friends. The issue also featured a dialogue with my former imam in New York City, Faisal Abdul Rauf. The combination made me almost so happy as to cry.
I admire you greatly and give thanks to Allah for the dignity of your approach to Islam. In fact, you are a traditionalist according to my studies. I am sad and concerned that many scholarly works that support your approach to Islam are being destroyed even as we speak by the thought police of the Wahhabi-style sects. Your voice and presence will generate hope, healing and restoration of ijtihad. Our faith would be impoverished terribly were you to leave. I ajbure you to stay and speak truth as a feminist, as our dear Prophet Muhammad was.” - Aminah
Irshad replies: No need to abjure, Aminah. I’m sticking around as long as I have integrity.
“A conversation between me and Irshad: Do you believe in praying five times a day?
Irshad: NO.
Do you believe that the Quran is the word of God and is perfect?
Irshad: NO.
Are you gay?
Irshad: YES.
Hey girl! Wake up. You are not Muslim. Not matter how much you would like to be part of this beautiful faith, the truth is that you are not Muslim. You know what I really hate about you? The fact that you come on TV and talk as an expert in Islam. Can you please stop portraying yourself as a Muslim?” - Anonymous
Irshad replies: Now that you’ve told me what you really ‘hate’ about me, you know what I really love about you? The fact that you’re rattled enough by my views that you had to write and tell me so. I appreciate you spending your breath and time on me. You made my gay — I mean, my day.
“I am gay and Muslim. Thanks for being my voice when I was silent. With a proper education, I hope to spread the fever you have given me.” - Jangir
Irshad replies: Infect only with intellect — and be contagious!
“I saw you interviewed on PBS and then read your book. You really spoke to what I have been feeling about my Islamic faith. After meeting several Muslims in college and studying with them for about four years, I became a convert to Islam. Many did not consider me Muslim, especially since I was a convert (and not Black).
I am wondering if anything can be done to promote scholarship among Muslims so that there are recognized voices who can speak from authority; scholars who can counter the voices of ‘desert Islam,’ as you put it. Are there any educational institutions anywhere in the world that are training imams to approach Islam from an enlightened, progressive stance? If not, what would it take to establish such an institution and staff it with progressive Muslims? “ - JB
Irshad replies: I don’t know of institutes that are training ‘progressive’ Muslim clerics. If readers of this website are aware of any, please pass on the info. Meanwhile, I can tell you that there are efforts to provide Muslim children with alternatives to a traditional madressa. For example, NetAid is an organization that’s financing public schools in some of the world’s hotbeds of Islamic radicalism — most notably, the NorthWest Frontier Province of Pakistan. There, NetAid has found imams who are willing to organize debates in their mosques. Debates about what? Get this: the theological legitimacy and practical virtues of educating girls. These debates foster a consensus in the community, especially among men, to go ahead and give girls a basic education in reading, writing and math. Notice that such a consensus could never be formed if it weren’t for support from the imams in the first place. Personally, however, I’m not convinced that producing liberal imams is the way forward. My informed hunch is that Muslims vest far too much power and faith in clerics — and that the real challenge is to reclaim independent thinking for ourselves.
In that spirit, I’m working on establishing a leadership center for young reform-minded Muslims. The idea is to educate them in the confidence of debate and dissent, give them a place to network face-to-face so they know they’re not alone, and then send them back to their communities to figure out the best local projects through which to open up Islam from within. What do you think?
“Bravo Irshad! I embraced Islam while studying theology at a Catholic College. At the time I was a practicing Jew, studying Arabic (among other things) and working for Palestinian causes. I do not wear hijab [head scarf] and I am single. While I’ve worked hard in the cause of Islam, I’ve never been fully accepted by the ummah [Muslim community] in America because of my appearance, my speech, my support of gay friends and my non-conformist attitude. I think of myself as an isolated believer as I live an hour south of the middle of nowhere in New Mexico and, as far as I know, there are no Muslims in my community.
I’ve spent the last 25 years trying to explain ‘ijtihad’ to Muslims and non-Muslims. From now on, I’ll just refer all questions to you. Thank you for writing and speaking and just being.” - Francine
Irshad replies: May we see the day when the questions about ijtihad are so plentiful that you’ll have to jump back in and help me answer them!
“What gives you the right to talk about Islam this way? You look like a fool trying to change Islam. Hopefully one day we won’t have to see or hear from you again. *You know why*… Here’s a tip, don’t travel to Muslim country’s if you know what’s good for you. Don’t even come near any mosques because I don’t want anything to happen to your pretty face…”
Irshad replies: Many thanks for your concern about me. You ask what gives me the right to say what I’m saying about Islam. I’ll refer you to my Frequently Asked Questions, since that’s the very first query I address. And your kind words about my looks have inspired me to add a new question to the FAQs — namely, ‘How do you get your hair that way?’
“I understand that you’ll be visiting several American cities and college campuses this fall. But you don’t list a book tour on your website. Can you please post your speaking engagements?” - Alyssa
Irshad replies: For security reasons, the Toronto police have asked me not to release my speaking schedule. It’s too easy for ill-wishers to plan ahead if they know my tour dates and cities. Of course, local bookstores, universities, think tanks and community centers usually publicize my appearances, but the fall-out from that is more easily monitored than the workings of would-be assassins who toil in relative anonymity. Security will be even more of an issue once the Arabic and Urdu translations of the book are available later this year.
For a taste of what I deal with almost every day, check out the next email…
“If you are travelling with an aircraft, I hope that your plane goes down and you burn to death. You piece of shit. Inshallah [God willing] Allah will make you suffer for all the bullshit you are spreading. DIE YOU BUSH DICK SUCKING MONSTER!!! HOPE YOU LIKE TO FUCK UR JEWISH SPYS!!!” - Amir
“I must tell you that I think what you are doing is extremely brave. And more than brave, it is essential if Muslims are to thrive (or only survive) in the future with some semblance of humanity about them. As you have said many times, you are holding onto your faith because you cherish it and believe it can better itself. You are more optimistic than I.
There has been a steady growth of conservatism in Islamic countries like Egypt and Afghanistan over the last half century. How can we undo this?”
Irshad replies: In The Trouble with Islam, I take the trouble to outline a global campaign to promote innovative approaches to Islam. I call this non-military campaign ‘Operation Ijtihad.’ All the details are spelled out in Chapter 7 of my book. Or you can read my recent column in The New York Times.
“You may be holding onto Islam, but I, for one, am now a secular humanist. Islam is a religion that hasn’t given the world anything valuable over the last few centuries. In countries where the religion is practiced we see the most horrid situations. Sure, there are lessons to be learned from Islam. It was the light of the world 1000 years ago. Now, it is darkness. Irshad, please keep up the fight to have Islam take its place alongside other religions.
It is especially refreshing to see that you are a lesbian. Who better to enlighten Muslims than a lesbian - something most reviled by the fanatics who have declared war on happiness, freedom, reason and everything else we should hold dear. Your very presence forces Muslims to think.” - Adnan
Irshad replies: If only it were that simple, Adnan. Read the next letter.
“The fact that you PUBLICLY admit to being a follower of a MAJOR SIN and perversion (lesbianism) is sufficient for the world’s Muslims to shun you entirely and see you as nothing more than a devil-inspired trouble-maker. If you had a drop of sincerity towards Islam, you would HIDE your perversion and not admit it. God has infinite mercy towards those who are sincere and hide their self and repent. But those who don’t care to hide their corruption have earned Allah’s wrath.” - Anonymous
Irshad replies: You say that “those who don’t care to hide their corruption have earned Allah’s wrath”. Does that mean Orwellian Islamic regimes are righteous, since they know how to hide corruption? And is it because you believe in hiding corruption that you won’t sign your name?
“Those who pervert the Truth in our signs are not hidden from us. Do what ye will: verily, He seeth (clearly) all that ye do.” - Ulas
Irshad replies: Wait a minute. I’ve just been told that pious Muslims hide the Truth from themselves. But if God can see right through the veneer, as you quote from the Koran, then what’s the point of hiding? (And, while we’re at it, what’s the point of veiling??)
“As a Muslim humanist (if there is such an animal) I can only say one thing… go girl. I was raised in a Muslim environment and I can understand why you are so intense about the issues. I may not agree with everything you say, but one thing is sure, we need more of you. Women in Muslim countries need a voice and a very loud one for that matter. Muslim men, as you already know, are quite hard of hearing.” - Michael
“I am planning on getting your book [because] I am looking for evidence to support my opinion that all faiths have a role to play in God’s grand scheme. I guess that means I am not a very good Christian.” - Kim
Irshad replies: Join the club.
“Somebody recommended your book to me. You can renounce Islam and go to another religion. No need to bash Islam. If you don’t like the teaching of Islam, just leave. Islam will not compromise. It is a religion sent by Allah. Nobody is forcing you to be a Muslim. As for the killing of the Jewish tribe by holy prophet (peace be upon him), well that just shows ignorance on your part. I know why he did it.” - Hamzah
Irshad replies: So do I. My question about why he did it is rhetorical, not literal. That is, if the Koran came to Prophet Mohammed as a message of peace, then why, even after receiving that message, did he command his army to kill an entire Jewish tribe? You’ve helped me illustrate, yet again, how deep literalism runs among Muslims today.
“I am a former Christian. I spent over 30 years in a Christian church and the reason I left can be summed up in the word you use, the lack of ‘ijtihad’ [independent thinking].
I have an absolute belief in God but I no longer believe in any religion. We as the human race are a marvelous creation and our minds are by far our greatest asset. Religion tends to dull the mind and rob us of the ability to use it in any way near what we are capable of.” - Bill
Irshad replies: In my case, religion has been a something of a Godsend. You see, it’s provided a counterweight to secularism and prevented me from becoming an automaton of consumer culture. Thanks to religion — or my rebellion against it — I learned to distinguish between authority (eg. one’s conscience) and authoritarianism (one’s clerics).
Maybe I could have learned this without religion. Still, growing up with Islam didn’t diminish my capacity to learn it. Indeed, the “trouble” with Islam might just have increased my incentive to pay attention! The Lord really does work in mysterious ways…
“My question is: Have u ever read the Quran?? Coz if u r a real moslim u would have accepted what Allah told you without debating him. This is if U REALLY BELIEVE in Him. In all that u wrote on the site, u never said any word from the Quran or hadith [the reported sayings of Prophet Muhammad]. U just talked about experiences here and there with people, and I can tell u many other experiences also about non-muslims. What u see is no criteria to judge islam. Islam is the religion of Allah. It is the law that Allah put for us to help us, yet we face his Good with bad and disobedience.” - Proudly Moslem Educated Girl
Irshad replies: Not quite, sister. I do quote the Koran on my Frequently Asked Questions page, in response to the query: ‘What gives you the right to say what you’re saying?’ Answer: The Koran does! I hope you like the passage I’ve picked. Which should also address your question about whether I’ve “even read the Quran.” Answer: Yep. And I’ve re-read it enough to know that it says: “God changes not what is in a people until they change what is in themselves.”
My question for you is: What are you changing about yourself? Will you start by reading my book, just as I’ve read the Koran? No need for to quote from my book — it contains at least as many contradictions as the Koran does. At least I’m honest enough to acknowledge that.
“I have read your book. The gem you offer is that you separate actual Islam from desert foundamentalism. [Irshad’s note: ‘Foundamentalism’ is the defensive pre-occupation with Islam’s founding moment, a pre-occupation that reinforces the values of 7th-century Arabia.] It is important to remind Muslims that a lot of Arab culture is being cunningly passed on as religion. The headscarf is a cultural requirement, not an Islamic one, yet France’s ban on the hijab is being presented by mullahs as anti-Islam. Headscarves for women and beards for men are mandated for political subjugation.
However, you cast doubt on some verses of the Quran. My question is: If we were to admit that not all of the Quran is divine, then what is Islam and what is not?”
Irshad replies: Just as it’s important to distinguish between Islam and Arab culture, so, I think, it’s vital to make the distinction between a book that’s divinely authored and divinely inspired. I have no problem conceiving of the Koran, like all holy books, as divinely inspired.
But divinely authored? The fact that Prophet Muhammad relied on others to transcribe what he thought he heard, the fact that scribes wrote on a patchwork of surfaces, the fact that these verses were compiled several decades after Prophet Muhamm